Mixture of Feelings
Today i heard a news that shocked me.
I am losing someone to hold on to in the office. Someone who had been the source of my spirit to go to the office everyday.
I realize i shouldn't have made myself to depend on anyone like that, but i just couldn't help it. I still have some best friends, but no one like this one. I am losing the companionship.
I may not lose the friendship, but his presence at work was all that i need. I will miss all the chats, gossips, discussions, laughs, lunches, all the time we had at work. I don't really spend my time outside work with this person, cause that time belongs to my family or my other friends. I do not really like to have him as my other friend cause it means i don't get to see him often. I do not hang out much with my other friends. But soon he will be one of my 'other friends'.
Actually I need him at work so that i can hold on to it emotionally. Yes, he has been the balancer of my professional life in this company for quite some time. I lost my mother at work and i guess i have clinged to him too much. And now i am extremely sad. I got up early in the morning weekend just to remember that he's leaving and it just broke my heart. I wish he could stay as long as i can, but he's not mine. His life isn't mine. I do not have that kind of influence over him. He didn't even let me know about this earlier. I am just his coworker. And he is just my coworker but somehow i feel like he has been much much more than that.
But at one point i need to wake up and stop thinking about my own needs. His presence has been my need at work but it looks that mine isn't his need. He needs something else, something better and that's why he's leaving. I understand him perfectly cause i have thought of doing the same thing myself. But like i said to him, he was one of the strong reasons i couldn't. I have less reasons now and that's good for me.
I am losing someone to hold on to in the office. Someone who had been the source of my spirit to go to the office everyday.
I realize i shouldn't have made myself to depend on anyone like that, but i just couldn't help it. I still have some best friends, but no one like this one. I am losing the companionship.
I may not lose the friendship, but his presence at work was all that i need. I will miss all the chats, gossips, discussions, laughs, lunches, all the time we had at work. I don't really spend my time outside work with this person, cause that time belongs to my family or my other friends. I do not really like to have him as my other friend cause it means i don't get to see him often. I do not hang out much with my other friends. But soon he will be one of my 'other friends'.
Actually I need him at work so that i can hold on to it emotionally. Yes, he has been the balancer of my professional life in this company for quite some time. I lost my mother at work and i guess i have clinged to him too much. And now i am extremely sad. I got up early in the morning weekend just to remember that he's leaving and it just broke my heart. I wish he could stay as long as i can, but he's not mine. His life isn't mine. I do not have that kind of influence over him. He didn't even let me know about this earlier. I am just his coworker. And he is just my coworker but somehow i feel like he has been much much more than that.
But at one point i need to wake up and stop thinking about my own needs. His presence has been my need at work but it looks that mine isn't his need. He needs something else, something better and that's why he's leaving. I understand him perfectly cause i have thought of doing the same thing myself. But like i said to him, he was one of the strong reasons i couldn't. I have less reasons now and that's good for me.
I learnt that everyone you meet has its part in your life, well he's definitely has quite a big part in mine and i am so thankful.
I am sad for his leaving but i am happy for his new opportunity he has found. It looks more promising and i hope he'll be happy there, more successful, and meeting more meaningful people there.
Take care my special friend. Keep your sunshine enlighten the others as you had enlightened me. Thank you for everything and God bless you in every way..
Take care my special friend. Keep your sunshine enlighten the others as you had enlightened me. Thank you for everything and God bless you in every way..
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