once upon a time in a woman's life

after struggling with the delivery of my first son, i just realized the hardness of being a woman. there i was..feeling proud to be pregnant and excited of waiting the labor process and soon meeting my first child. it was tuesday morning..not so long after midnight..i felt a little ache in my stomach..but then i felt hungry..then i ate some rice and boiled chicken (my favorite). when i went to the bathroom, i found some red stains..then i thought i should go to the hospital.

i called my obgyn and he said ok, let's go to the hospital.

arriving in the hospital, i felt allright..little excited perhaps..but no pain at all..it turned out that i needed the pain. so i went for a frequent walk around the hospital. i already checked in, so without pain, it felt more like staying in a hotel..:) but soon it became boring and worrying. i arrived at dawn (about 3 am) and until the afternoon, i did not experience any more pain, or maybe just a little pain. so the doctor gave me an induction infusion, then the pain came..and gradually it became so painful and more painful all through the night.. i just could not sleep at all..i was really exhausted. the pain of the contraction was so awful! never thought that it could be so bad! but then the nurse said that the opening was still small. In the morning after, i just could not take the pain any longer, then i decided to have the surgery-c-section. My obgyn just could not argue, though he would like me to hold on until 10 am, but get real here?! i just want to sleep, ok! so they take off the induction, and finally i can rest my body and just relaxed for the upcoming surgery. the operation was nothing compared to the pain of the contraction. when the anasthetic filled my spinal cord, i felt numb on the chest to feet. the doctors were busy cut off my stomach while chating to each other. and i was just so sleepy when suddenly one of the surgeon said to me that i should be prepared cause they wanted to lift my baby. just an instant and i didn't think i felt something, suddenly i heard a loud cry! my baby cried! i heard him for the first time! tears coming through my cheek..finally i could get my baby out! what a hard work!! so hard being a mother, when i had only carried and gave birth..they were really hard!

i still had a long way of being a mother. nursing was the next. it was funny feeling all around. sometimes it was a little painful but it was just an incredible feeling. when the pain was gone, what left was the pleasure of giving meal to your baby, your precious part of you.

my baby is almost 5 months now. he looks so cute, handsome and beautiful, just make you think that you're the happiest person in the world! thank God! :-D

we belong together

do you know the song by mariah carey 'we belong together'? just across my mind..so i just put it as the title of this blog.
do we really belong together? well at least until now, i'm sure that he and i do belong together..
i met him online as yo and i was deey. had not been chatting online for quite a long time, but that night i just let myself to chat again..and then i met him online.
that first night was a quick encounter but i thought we just clicked each other. even i did not really think that it would be something special. btw, it was sunday night.
on the next day, i had forgotten about it, but surprisingly he sent me sms from the chat engine. after that we could continue get in touch with each other and then the conversation grew to sms via our cellphones until phone conversation.
i loved communicating with him. we just clicked. really got along well. so a week later we managed to take our relationship to the next level. that time we still didn't know how each other looks like.
when we finally exchanged photos, we really did not think that looks matter so much. he even made me two beautiful poems. he became a romantic person when actually he's not that romantic. right now, he's always embarrased when i mentioned about those poems..:-p
not until a month later, we could meet each other, cause we lived in different cities.
after the first meeting, he had done everything to live in the same city with me. he had and missed jobs several times, it was not easy at all. but we just sticked each other.
there had been very hard times..but we never thought of quiting our relationship. it had never been an option.
there had also been beautiful times as being together, we could really have fun. i think that i am always comfortable to be with him and i can be just exactly the way i am, without trying so hard to make it works.
After almost 3 years of our relationship, finally we could get married with His blessings. never thought that it could really happen, cause both of us were really busy with works and study but then God made it possible. Praise the Lord!
i realize that we can not always have peaceful relationship. there had also been many quarrels and disagreements, but that's life right? it's the spicy things about relationship.
today, i am just reminiscing the old times while expecting the delivery of my first son. the due date is August 29. wish us luck, ok..
then i guess, so far we do belong each other..until The Mighty God let us be..:-)

chocolate

this time i would like to write about chocolate. it's just a coincidence that yesterday my husband bought me one pack of dark chocolate of marks & spencer (how sweet of him!). it's an expensive chocolate. i'm not sure though why it's so expensive. because of it's imported or simply because it's quite better quality compared to other cheaper chocolate products. i must admit though that i love the taste of the chocolate. it's a bit bitter and less sweet, but it's just so tasteful for me. i'm chewing one coin of chocolate right now and only 2 coins left. oh no..i know i will not buy it in a short while, since it's just too expensive for 22 coins of chocolate bar..:-P. but i will keep the pack though to remind me how sweet my loving husband has been to me..:-)).
speaking bout chocolate, do u know that chocolate is healthy? it actually contains of antioxidant that can protect your body from harmful free radicals attack. it cannot make you fat either. actually what makes us fat is the milk, sugar, and butter in the chocolate products. so it's better for us to consume dark chocolate because it's less sugar and milk and contains high concentrate of chocolate.
i came up with this fact since i had written about chocolate products as my marketing plan assignment. hehe..what a task..thank God i did not do it by myself. it's been done by team and i got mark AB in the subject..praise the Lord!
chocolate is a very likable food. many people loves chocolate. maybe 90% populations in the world actually love chocolate. so, tell me when you are one of the people that do not like chocolate. cause i just don't understand why..
salam coklat..:-D

new idol from world cup 2006

hey..can anyone recognize whose picture this is? thanks to my husband, i am interested again in watching world cup 2006 on tv. and i'm more interested after i saw this cute guy (one of my interests..hehe), cute boy actually, cause he's still very young..21 years old. can you imagine that when i entered college in 1995, he was only 10 years old?! hahaha..

one of the indonesian tv commercials uses him as the model and he looked stunning there. he's a new idol for me. so many things can still happen in his life in his young age. hopefully he can maintain his talent and career quite a long time. i just remember my previous idol, the singer. i'm so proud of him cause he's still going strong career compared to his previous group mates. well i really don't want this new idol of mine walk out of his football career, cause i definitely would like to see him again on the next world cup championship. take care cute lad..:-))

dogs for me

i mentioned dogs in my interests. well i love dogs. really really fond of dogs.
the saddest thing that happened in my life was when my first dog died. he had been with me and my family for more than 10 years. he had been like our family member. infact he had been more like a little brother for me.
there had not been any memory about how bad he was. you cannot think of dogs as cruel creatures. they're simply honest and friendly creatures.



i had been bitten by my dog and still i cannot say that he's cruel or a bad creature. it was my fault to startle him when he was sleeping and i'm sure that he never meant to harm me.




there are no lies in dogs..they just can't manage to lie..it's the special thing that God create for animals. Lie is a special thing also that God create in human. Human can lie. Human can be dishonest. Great thing about human is he can use lies and dishonesty to help other people the same way he attack others. smart huh?
anyway..i will always love dogs..more than i love other humans? haha..i can't say that. all i can say is they will always have special place in my heart.
love u..bella, ncil, milo, bolu..my cutest dogs..

my first time

never thought that I would create my own blog..
it's not that i don't like to write..i do..but sometimes i just like to write for myself and i don't want others to read it. yes, maybe i'm not really an open kind of person. but i'm not so closed either. i just don't know what others might feel after reading my thoughts. i consider myself to have an open mind though..so i think it's ok for me if open minded people read my blog.
anyway..what am i going to write??? first time and i'm already paranoid..so sad deey..:-P