once upon a time in a woman's life

after struggling with the delivery of my first son, i just realized the hardness of being a woman. there i was..feeling proud to be pregnant and excited of waiting the labor process and soon meeting my first child. it was tuesday morning..not so long after midnight..i felt a little ache in my stomach..but then i felt hungry..then i ate some rice and boiled chicken (my favorite). when i went to the bathroom, i found some red stains..then i thought i should go to the hospital.

i called my obgyn and he said ok, let's go to the hospital.

arriving in the hospital, i felt allright..little excited perhaps..but no pain at all..it turned out that i needed the pain. so i went for a frequent walk around the hospital. i already checked in, so without pain, it felt more like staying in a hotel..:) but soon it became boring and worrying. i arrived at dawn (about 3 am) and until the afternoon, i did not experience any more pain, or maybe just a little pain. so the doctor gave me an induction infusion, then the pain came..and gradually it became so painful and more painful all through the night.. i just could not sleep at all..i was really exhausted. the pain of the contraction was so awful! never thought that it could be so bad! but then the nurse said that the opening was still small. In the morning after, i just could not take the pain any longer, then i decided to have the surgery-c-section. My obgyn just could not argue, though he would like me to hold on until 10 am, but get real here?! i just want to sleep, ok! so they take off the induction, and finally i can rest my body and just relaxed for the upcoming surgery. the operation was nothing compared to the pain of the contraction. when the anasthetic filled my spinal cord, i felt numb on the chest to feet. the doctors were busy cut off my stomach while chating to each other. and i was just so sleepy when suddenly one of the surgeon said to me that i should be prepared cause they wanted to lift my baby. just an instant and i didn't think i felt something, suddenly i heard a loud cry! my baby cried! i heard him for the first time! tears coming through my cheek..finally i could get my baby out! what a hard work!! so hard being a mother, when i had only carried and gave birth..they were really hard!

i still had a long way of being a mother. nursing was the next. it was funny feeling all around. sometimes it was a little painful but it was just an incredible feeling. when the pain was gone, what left was the pleasure of giving meal to your baby, your precious part of you.

my baby is almost 5 months now. he looks so cute, handsome and beautiful, just make you think that you're the happiest person in the world! thank God! :-D