Feelings

Yes..just like a song title haha..

Actually i am still wondering sometime on where do feelings come from.

Well, this i am referring to feelings toward someone or something

We can feel like, dislike, love, hate toward something based on the appearance, what we can see, touch, hear and smell. Toward animals and other human beings, we can also feel based on our communication. If they treat us badly, we intend to dislike them and hate them. Although we can choose just to ignore and stay good to them on a moral basis. Consequently when they treat us good, we can grow to like them. When we have good communication, mutual understanding, usually we can like each other. 

So normally, when we have interests based on what we see, hear, smell, and touch, plus good communication and understanding, we can even grow to love each other. The formula should be:

Feelings = result of 5 senses + extra senses including communication, understanding, aura, special sense.

Just put a positive or negative sign on each sense, then add them up. Positive means like. Negative means dislike. More than one positive, equals more likes to love. While dislike to hate, on the contrary. 

What about some special cases?

Hate/Love at the first sight, this can mean resulted from one or more of the 5 senses (including sight sense), added with the special sense or aura. 

Usually those drastic feelings will last or change depend on the other extra senses which are communication and understanding. 

However, people can change on their perception. The results of 5 senses depend on the quality of appearance. When the feelings only come from the normal 5 senses, they can change easily and not long lasting. That's why people should work on the communication and understanding to maintain relationships. But like i mentioned there is still a special case that depend on the special sense. This special sense is one thing that makes me wonder, cause it is unexplainable and illogical. And that is when you cannot keep from disliking someone, hating someone or loving someone, even though there is no reason for you to keep feeling that way. 

So, have you ever feel that unexplainable feelings? 

Now or Then, Then for Now

Well just crossed my mind..i feel when i am tired of now, it really helps to get back to the old times by looking at old pictures, watching old videos, reading diary and even reading this blog of mine. It sort of reminding you of who you were, who you really are and what you have accomplished so far. It is a good feeling actually in return. 

Now i know i will get back to writing my blog again..so that the future me can read it to give new spirit to get through the life.

Thank God

Making Documented Memories

Getting older, I just feel more important to make trace of my life. Sometime ago I did not really put attention to that. But recently, I began to feel that it would be nice if we can make our history documented, recorded, so that we can look back to see and enjoy that. Or probably other people will be able to see my life and who I have been when I am not in this world anymore.

Life is too damn short, right haha..well I hope when it's time for me to leave, I have reached the goal, the objective that God has put in me that has become the reason of my existence. 

Living At Home (Really, Literally)

I guess i need to start writing about this worldwide event that have been going on for around 4 months..and we do not know for sure when it is going to last entirely.

When we think that life can be so dull at home, well i definitely do not think so..

Infact i got a chance to know an amazing band much better. I got to feel again the thrill of being a music fan. Awesome!!

Humans are such incredible creatures that have a high specialty in adaptation. Well it has been proven actually to be the only living being that dominate the earth..or so they think 😊

Anyway..being in a quarantine at home seemed very hard at first but then reached the point where human creativity and resistance emerge in order to survive, to keep living, to bring back balance, even new point of balance..the new normal, so they say.

Humans are very special..i can see that..i can feel that..as being one also.

But i believe humans need to keep close to nature..and live in harmony with other living beings.. that's when the world will strive to support each other..to stay in the balance of life truly for the sake of all..not just humans.

So let's not think about ourselves and start to think about our role in keeping the true balance of nature

another note to figuring life purpose

I think human is quite receptive to the environment. Perhaps what trigger them can be different but somehow people behave depend on their environment, what they see, what they catch by their senses, and then formulate feedbacks that can result in what they feel, what they say and what they think or assume.

And why the heck am i writing this? Haha

I just think that i need a base, a background, a reason of what i am feeling right now. 

Well sometimes your reaction to certain event can be surprising even for yourself. And when that happens, i just wonder if we really know ourselves well or if somehow at some points we will do and move according to our Creator. If that's the case then we should get to know Him well. I am sure though that we should move based on our heart cause our Creator speaks to us through the very close and private part of us, our heart. 

Then, don't you think we should listen to our heart? Have we lived according to our heart? Or do we go through our life just by people telling us to do, or whether we are following certain authorities, and some written guidances which may not be suited with our hearts. Or are we actually unaware of our heart existence because we never use it and listen to it? 

I believe that God has planned a unique way for us to live in this life so that we can fulfil our purpose. 

Well i am still figuring out my purpose, other than being a useful member of my family. Perhaps i am destined for something bigger, or even simple thing that is considerable huge to others. I don't know. But at least i know that i need to open my ears and eyes, finding His path and voice through my heart. May God help us all 🙏

Note To Self

Tuhan menciptakan manusia dengan segala kesempurnaannya yang unik. Tidak ada manusia yang identik, bahkan saudara kembar pun.
Mungkinkah Tuhan menginginkan ciptaanNya untuk menjalani jalan hidup yang sama?
Kuyakin tujuan hidupku untuk kembali kepadaNya. Tapi dengan sedemikian banyak perbedaan dan keunikan yang Tuhan berikan kepada tiap ciptaanNya, mungkinkah Dia mau mereka untuk mengikuti jalan yang sama?
Dengan segala kejadian, perasaan, pengalaman tiap manusia yang berbeda yang telah terjadi atas kehendakNya, apakah aku masih sedemikian bodohnya untuk mengingkari perbedaan dan bersikukuh untuk menjalani kesamaan yang semu yang bertentangan dengan keunikan manusia masing-masing? Keunikan dari Yang Maha Agung, Yang Maha Kuasa, Penciptaku.
Mengapa aku tidak mulai bersinkronisasi dengan keunikanku, berusaha memahami Tuhan dari kreasiNya yang terdekat yaitu diriku sendiri. Berusaha mendengarNya lewat kata hatiku yang terdalam.
Semua orang tahu bahwa manusia sudah dibekali oleh akal budi yang menuntun jalannya sesuai dengan kodratnya. Tapi seberapa banyak manusia yang benar-benar menggunakan akal budinya untuk kembali kepadaNya?
Pernahkah aku mempertanyakan suatu hal benar cocok untukku?
Pernahkah aku tidak yakin akan sesuatu karena alasan yang tidak jelas?
Atau malah langsung yakin tanpa mengetahui sesuatu dengan lebih detail?
Bukankah itu sebenarnya adalah akal budiku yang berbicara untuk menyesuaikan diri dengan keunikanku?
Sejatinya jalan hidup memang bukan untuk dipertentangkan karena tiap manusia punya masing-masing. Jika akhirnya tetap dipaksakan untuk sama, bisa jadi malah jadi tersesat dan tidak kunjung sampai ke tujuan mulianya yaitu kembali kepadaNya. Karena kembali kepada Penciptaku maupun mengalami Tuhan dengan nyata seharusnya tidak hanya terjadi setelah kematianku.

Mixture of Feelings

Today i heard a news that shocked me.
I am losing someone to hold on to in the office. Someone who had been the source of my spirit to go to the office everyday.
I realize i shouldn't have made myself to depend on anyone like that, but i just couldn't help it. I still have some best friends, but no one like this one. I am losing the companionship.
I may not lose the friendship, but his presence at work was all that i need. I will miss all the chats, gossips, discussions, laughs, lunches, all the time we had at work. I don't really spend my time outside work with this person, cause that time belongs to my family or my other friends. I do not really like to have him as my other friend cause it means i don't get to see him often. I do not hang out much with my other friends. But soon he will be one of my 'other friends'.
Actually I need him at work so that i can hold on to it emotionally. Yes, he has been the balancer of my professional life in this company for quite some time. I lost my mother at work and i guess i have clinged to him too much. And now i am extremely sad. I got up early in the morning weekend just to remember that he's leaving and it just broke my heart. I wish he could stay as long as i can, but he's not mine. His life isn't mine. I do not have that kind of influence over him. He didn't even let me know about this earlier. I am just his coworker. And he is just my coworker but somehow i feel like he has been much much more than that.
But at one point i need to wake up and stop thinking about my own needs. His presence has been my need at work but it looks that mine isn't his need. He needs something else, something better and that's why he's leaving. I understand him perfectly cause i have thought of doing the same thing myself. But like i said to him, he was one of the strong reasons i couldn't. I have less reasons now and that's good for me. 

I learnt that everyone you meet has its part in your life, well he's definitely has quite a big part in mine and i am so thankful. 

I am sad for his leaving but i am happy for his new opportunity he has found. It looks more promising and i hope he'll be happy there, more successful, and meeting more meaningful people there.
Take care my special friend. Keep your sunshine enlighten the others as you had enlightened me. Thank you for everything and God bless you in every way..